Mindfulness is paying attention in a particular way.
We use the definition from John Kabat-Zinn, Mindfulness is:
on purpose
in the present moment
nonjudgmental
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What is Mindfulness
This will take practice, but here are some examples of what mindfulness might look like as you practice:
Watching your dog play with another dog, maybe they get in a small fight, and then they get right back to playing together, letting go of that past moment.
Playing with a child- eating pretend cupcakes and cooking eggs in the play kitchen.
Making mashed potatoes and noticing the texture of the potato, the smell, the boiling water.
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Noticing
Notice the senses (smells, feelings, sight, sounds, taste):
Take a moment and identify 5 things that you can see, 5 things that you hear, 5 things that you feel.
The major focus here is COGNITIVE DEFUSION
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Cognitive Defusion
The goal here is to notice thoughts as thoughts not as reality. For example, think of the following:
Purple cupcakes falling from the ceiling of the room you are sitting in now.
Think hard… close your eyes and think of those cupcakes falling down on you. Wait 1 minute.
Did they fall?
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Cognitive Defusion
The cupcakes cannot fall by thinking about them.
Just as much as I cannot hurt someone I love (or hate) by thinking that I want to or I am going to.
Here is another example:
Rather than thinking- “People do not like me”
Notice it as a thought- “There is a thought that people do not like me.”
In this way we remove ourselves from this negativity.
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Be present
Sometimes we do not want to be present in situations such as running into an ex-lover, waiting on a long line in a store, being trapped in an elevator, speaking to a large audience…
Take a moment (one minute) to sit and think about an uncomfortable moment. A moment where you did not feel good and you wanted to escape.
Press this button (you will not hear anything at first press, but wait for the sound of the bell at the end of the 1 minute)
01:00
00:00
00:00
00:02
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You can’t go preventing pleasure and pain, you can’t keep the mind from labeling things and forming thoughts, but you can put these things to a new use. If the mind labels a pain, saying, ‘I hurt,’ you have to examine the label carefully, contemplate it until you see that it’s wrong: the pain isn’t really yours. It’s simply a sensation that arises and passes away, that’s all.
Upasika Kee Nanayon, “Tough Teachings To Ease The Mind”
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Present Moment
When you try to think about that moment, you might want to flee. You want to avoid that pain.
With mindfulness, we are welcoming all experiences- even those negative ones.
The more I try and push thoughts and feelings away, the stronger they push back at me; The stronger I feel those thoughts and feelings.
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Inner Peace
While we cannot guarantee inner peace per se, much of the current research shows that with the practice of Mindfulness, we can:
better handle stress
show an increase gray brain matter and overall brain density
we are less anxious and depressed
we show/have more compassion for self and others
we have clearer ideas of your values and goals
we report a higher overall quality of life
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Acceptance
Acceptance is such an easy verb to spell and say; Not so easy to practice.
It is one thing to be AWARE of these thoughts and emotions, and it is another to ACCEPT the thoughts and feelings.
To be aware is to acknowledge and identify thoughts and emotions.
To accept is to welcome the thoughts and emotions.
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“What is your automatic reflex to life situations, especially difficult ones? Do you think about yourself and how you might profit or escape from a situation? Or do you think about others and how you can help? Progress on the path, and a sign that you’re well prepared for death, occurs when the former changes into the latter, when you default not into selfishness but into selflessness.”
Andrew Holecek, “The Best Possible Habit”
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Self Compassion
One key factor on this journey is to be WILLING
Every moment is not always pleasant and we do not want to be in it. Be patient and show compassion to yourself.
It is easier to distract. Some people drink, do drugs, or over eat. That is easy. You do not want the easy way!
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Self Compassion
Accepting the present moment and being willing to experience that moment show:
kindness towards yourself
understanding towards yourself
empathy for yourself
The more you practice SELF COMPASSION, the better you become at it! PRACTICE NOW.
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Self Compassion
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Practicing Mindfulness
This is like going to the gym, mindfulness takes many “reps of practice.”
We are building a relationship with your thoughts, we are not preventing ourselves from having thoughts.
The goal is to NOTICE things- notice thoughts, sensations, judgments, sounds (think about your senses)
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How to Practice
Meditate- start with 5 minutes per day. A good goal is working towards 30 minutes per day.
Turn off the radio in the car.
Notice if you turn the TV or radio on once you enter your home, avoid that urge and be silent.
Mindful eating- notice where your food came from, what it looks like, how it smells, savor each taste.
There are MANY ways! You can now begin praciting Mindfulness. Be patient, take your time. The practice of Mindfulness takes time.
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